august

Food blogger Jennifer Perillo unexpectedly lost her husband to a heart attack and is quite naturally struggling with his loss. Her struggles conjured up old demons for me, reminding me that this is August. Dreaded August … the month of loss. August… THAT month that we have lost so many family members and friends. I can so vividly remember the feeling of not letting anything go unattended for the day because tomorrow may bring a phone call saying a loved one has died. Steven and I both struggled with that mind set for so long. I consciously made a choice not to remember dates. Some might think that is a terrible thing that I cannot tell you the exact day of my parents passing. But we were losing family members at such a fast pace that I figured that by the time I was an old woman there wouldn’t be a day that wouldn’t be the anniversary of some sorrowful passing. So I chose to forget. But for some reason the whole month of August achieved that stigma. When did that feeling of dread actually leave? I am not sure. But slowly over time we have let the dread go. August returned to just another month on the calendar. Life goes on. Time does not heal but time changes…and it has changed who we are.